Mac jokes

Hi guys, i saw these Mac jokes on the internet so thought of sharing with you.

Hope you will like it.

1.What's the difference between a brontosaurus and a Mac?
A brontosaurus runs faster.

2.Why did the retarded guy buy a Mac?
What do you mean? They're all retarded!

3.Seriously, why do these people buy Macs?
The boxes PCs come in are too hard for them to open.

4.What's the difference between a turd and a Mac?
Most turds aren't gray.

5.Why do so many Mac users continue to use Macs?
They're afraid they'd have to pierce the other ear in order to 'switch teams', if you know what I mean...

6.What did the Mac hater say when he saw several hundered Macintoshes buried half-way in cement?
Geez, I hope that guy's off getting some more cement...

7.How do you make your Mac go faster?
Drop it from a higher window.

8.How can you identify a Mac user at a party?
Ask him to help you word-process on your computer. He'll instinctively pull out a magnifying glass to see the screen.

9.What's a sure-fire way to piss off the new neighbors?
Eject a floppy from a Mac 1,000 times. ZZerzzit! Zzerzzzit! Zzzerzzzit!...

10.What's the second-best way?
Restart it 1,000 times so the infamous Mac-start-up-chime blasts forth from the speaker, or until they call the cops.

11.Why aren't more Mac owners computer literate?
They would be, if they had a computer.

12.How do you make a Mac run faster?
Smoke some marijuana just before using it, to alter your perception of time. There will be a noticeable speed increase, not only of the Mac but any clocks in the room as well. Now that's performance!

13.What's the difference between an Apple Lisa (predecessor of MAC) and a Game Boy?
Game boy has more memory and a higher-res screen, and greater color depth: 4 shades of green!

14.Why don't more Mac users get depressed about owning a Mac and commit suicide?
They don't know how ~poopy~ their machine is, because they still haven't figured out how to turn it ON.

15.How do you recognize a Mac user at a computer store?
When he's asking the salesperson how much it would cost him to upgrade to a 33.6 Kbps transfer speed--and then realize he's referring to the hard drive.

16.How do you make a Mac disk drive access faster?
Wind it up again

17.What do you do with an obsolete Mac?
Whatever you do, don't pick it up off the store shelf and buy it!

18.How many Mac users does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to consult the manual that came with it, one to call tech-support, and two to sit and wait for the 'Smiley Face' to appear and say 'Welcome to Macintosh'.